Philosophies

A couple of my....colleagues is the closest word, I suppose. People I work with from time to time, trust not to shoot me in the back, but haven't invited over to dinner, because I don't want them to know where I live.

Anyway. They made a couple comments in jest that struck a chord and resonated with me.

(I should note that one of my working uniforms bears a large red cross - not the Red Cross as such, but similarly inspired).

One said, and I'm paraphrasing, "Your outfit makes a keen fashion statement, but it just makes you stand out. The secret world should remain secret."

The second said "Sure, but isn't it nice of them to paint a cross hairs right on their uniforms?"

And while they were joking, they weren't. To them, it was natural to hide. To lurk in the shadows until the right moment presented itself, and even then, only act if they felt certain of winning, and of not being noticed.

Whereas I choose to show my allegiances openly, to reveal who I am, and stand up to be counted. And truly, I can't see *how* someone in our position could do anything else. To know your path, and (presumably) be committed to it, but wait, lurking, hiding, avoiding? How can you live with yourself? How can you look in the mirror and say "I'm doing Good for the world" and mean it? And if you can't do that, why are you involved?

Yes, I am a target. Isn't that the basic reason we do this? Because *someone* has to be a target. If it's not us, it's everyone else out there. And they aren't equipped, physically, mentally, emotionally, or with the required knowledge.

Don't get me wrong. I like these people. And in the immediate moments, when action is required, they act, and act decisively, for the right reasons. But even when we're sitting at the bar afterwards, and telling war stories, theirs are month long tales of study, waiting, and delaying, followed by a single act. In those 4 months, I've been sent 5 different places. Certainly, I've lost more than they have - each of them has all their original organs, for instance, and their list of fallen is much shorter than mine. But so is their list of vanquished.

Clearly I made a choice, and I still think it's the right one.

Starting a blog....

One of my colleagues has suggested that a blog would be a good way to relax, decompress, and work things out a bit.

I am assured by said colleague that the software I am using is secured, and I can speak freely, but I am enough of a traditionalist to feel that some things should be kept private.

We'll see how things develop over time....